i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
