you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
