my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
