they need to just BURY HIM!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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