Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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