i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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