Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Randomize