remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
