I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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