One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
