We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
