your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
