So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Congratulations! We have a period
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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