you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
