You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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