i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
