Where did you get a picture of my penis
thus making me awesome and them whores
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
