I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
