just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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