You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
