we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
