well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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