Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
