yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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