God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
