i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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