People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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