I wish I could punch you in the face.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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