if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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