is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
