No stitches, just platelets and will power
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
