I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
