Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
