Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND THE LEGS
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize