I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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