He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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