one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
