Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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