We won't sleep together?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Reggie can tackle my bush.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
