No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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