please come you make the beer taste better
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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