On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
they call him Oral-B. enough said
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Randomize
