Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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