dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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