Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize