she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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