I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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