why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
