I'm lost and stupid without you.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
