my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
well you can't waste a boner
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
