Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
