I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
