Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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