we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
