This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
