I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
